The Reason Why
by Canadian Erect Mountie
Summary: When the door was kicked down everyone froze. Matthew's eyes were squeezed shut so tightly it was amazing tears managed to fall out of them. His whole body shook with sobs from the pain of being torn open so brutally. Ivan was huge, there was blood everywhere, and *holy shit Matthew's being raped and no one's doing anything!* Self harm, yaoi, rape, torture, general badness.
1. The Confessions

**Well, first Hetalia FanFic. HUGE FAN OF PRUCAN. Enjoy!**

Matthew lay the blade down, sighing in contentment and guilt. He washed the blood off of his shredded wrists and began to bandage them when there was a knock at the door.

"HEY MATTIE! THE AWESOME ME HAS ARRIVED, AND IS CRAVING PANCAKES!" sang Gilbert. Matthew rolled his indigo eyes, quickly finishing the rest of his bandaging.

"Coming, Gilbert!" he called back, shutting the bathrrom door behind him, forgetting to hide the razors properly.

He opened the door and stepped aside for Gilbert. "You're here early." he noted, closing the door behind the albino.

"What?" said Gilbert, clutching his chest in fake hurt. "You think that there has to be a certain time for awesomeness?" He pretended to faint into the kitchen chair. Matthew rolled his eyes yet again and sighed. "Oh well. What kind of pancakes do you want?" he asked, opening the lazy Susan to reveal all the boxes of different flavored pancake mix.

"Regular, please. Extra syrup, coz it's awesome!" said Gilbert, slamming his fist down onto the table for dramatic effect. The he paused, as if thinking and indeed added as an afterthought, "But totally not as awesome as meeeeeee!"

"Oh yes, my liege. I'll be back in a second, I have to go put some shoes on." said Matthew, rubbing his cold feet and trudging upstairs. Pulling on his favorite pair of sneakers, Matt gazed around his room. The walls were adorned with hockey posters and his bedspread had a maple leaf right in the centre. He exited the room, pausing to catch a glimpse of the picture on his nightstand. It was of him and his brother, Alfred, whom he loved regardless of how many times he was forgotten. Once, Arthur had mixed them up so badly Matthew was grounded when Alfred had covered Mr. Braginski's desk in duct tape for a dare.

Alfred went out drinking with his friends Kiku, Yao, Antonio, Lovino, and even Roderich. (Elizaveta also stalked them, giving up her position when she squealed at the sight of a drunken Kiku sloppily kissing Yao.) Gilbert stayed home with Matthew by climbing in his window and they spent the night playing air hockey. (Matthew dominated Gil, of course.)

Walking back to the kitchen, he heard water running in the bathroom, where Gilbert must have been. Before he could pass it however, the door opened with a rather foreboding creak and out stepped Gilbert, holding two razor blades and some old bandages in confusion.

"Mattie? Vat are these?" he asked quietly, his confusion making his accent stronger.

Matthew was frozen. What the hell was he supposed to tell Gilbert? That, 'Oh yeah, I'm really fucked up because every afternoon I'm dumped into a dumpster by Cruz and my dad constantly forgets my existance and I'm always beat up because I'm mixed up for Alfred?'

Oh, that was likely. But he couldn't lie to Gilbert. "Well, um, they're razor blades and bandages..." he mumbled.

"No shit, Mattie! My real question is why the hell were they all in a box? And what is this?" demanded Gilbert, tugging Matthew by his forearm into the bathroom, not hearing Matt's squeak of pain and pointing to the floor, where small, fresh blood drops were splattered on the otherwise clean floor. The pain and emotion made tears come to his eyes and suddenly Gilbert released his arm as if burned.

"Birdie, pull. Up. Your. Sleeves." he hissed. Matthew did so with shaky hands to reveal his heavily and messily wrapped forearms and wrists. He couldn't meet Gilbert's eyes, the floor was so much more interesting, and he was so ashamed of those blood drops.

"Mattie, how long have you been doing this?" asked the albino teen an an abnormally soft and gentle voice.

"Two y-years..." he whispered, staring resolutely at the floor, even while his vision became clouded with tears. Suddenly he found himself in a firm yet gentle hug.

"Why." murmured Gilbert into Matthew's soft golden locks, that smelled of cinnamon. Matthew finally tipped over the edge and began to spill his heart out along with the tears.

"I'm always c-confused with Al! Cruz is a bully, and he goes out of his way, every day, to dump me in a dumpster behind the school, and you know the food is hardly edible! Arthur is constantky forgetting me or not even realising I'm here! Francis is always so busy now with his new job at the restaurant and he never has time for me! Al is... Al is too wrapped up in his own life to give a damn about me." he sobbed into Gilbert's shoulder.

"I sometimes forget that I'm even a real person, and the c-cutting makes me feel alive!"

"Oh, Birdie, if you keep going on like this, you wouldn't be alive! And then who would make me awesome pancakes? And keep Gilbird company? And who would I love then?"

Matthew froze mid-sniff. "L-love?" he asked in stunned disbelief. Gilbert returned his feelings? Gilbert loved him? Sure, he had fantasies about kissing the albino, once, (though he would blush and refuse to admit it) he had a wet dream about the boy.

"I-I mean, that is, if you feel the same, and um, well-" The rest of Gilbert's sentence was muffled by Matthew crushing their lips together passionately.

Only when the need for oxygen was too great did they part.

"That was another reason." Matt said softly after a minute. "I was afraid to be friends with the person I loved when I thought I couldn't have him."

"Oh, Mattie, my Birdie, I'm so sorry. I should have said something earlier, because awesome people aren't afraid of rejection, and this might have stopped sooner. Whatever, I'm so, so glad you're here now, in my arms, and we will get through this, okay Mattie?" asked Gilbert.

Matthew nodded and smiled, for the first time in a long time, and locked their lips again.

**Fine~**

**Okay, that was my first ever Hetalia fanfic, and also the first fic I ever posted online that wasn't Harry Potter relavent. Review and tell me if you want this to be a multi-chapter story or what, because it seemed so short! Ah well, and happy law day to all my fellow Americans!**


	2. An Awkward Situation, Indeed

_**The Reason Why**_

**A/N: Yayz! I'm making it a multi-fic! *ducks Harry Potter fans throwing random shit at my head* I'm sorry, I know I have like four other stories I should be updating, but wth. So, I probably will draw this fic out for more chapters than it's worth, and I won't be updating very frequently. **

**And, I prolly should have said this last chapter, but Hetalia doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya, and this is a high school AU with the human names. Enjoy!**

Matt's POV:

TWO YEARS AGO, September

Matt sighed. And sniffed. And sneezed. _'Damned pollen,' _he thought bitterly.

"Yo, Mattiieeeee!" whined Alfred, clinging onto his brother's arm. "I don't want you to go to class all by yourself! But Arthur said that you are a tough guy and that you can make it, but I'm not so sure, and pleeeeeeeease tell me you'll call for a hero if anyone tries to hurt you or something! Seriously, if that asshole Lovino Vargas even swears at the curl on your head, I'll-"

"Al, shut it. I'll be fine, and Vargas swears at a speck of dust falling on his shoulder. It's not like you can be there to save me from nothing. And no, there is nothing." Matt said flatly.

Al detatched himself from Matthew's grip somewhat reluctantly. "Alright, Mattie, of you're sure..." he said uncertainly. Matt smiled weakly. "I'll be fine."

TWO YEARS AGO, October

Matt couldn't believe it, Cruz found his diary. His diary, which revealed he was gay, stated his crushes, his secrets, every little detail of his life so far.

Unfortunately, Cruz barely made it past the first sentence of yesterday's entry. He threw the journal back at Matthew, with a look of utter disgust on his face. "You filthy little _queer._" he hissed. Matt backed up into the wall of the back of the school, clutching his notebook to his chest. He looked rather like a deer in the headlights.

Cruz advanced on him. He was cornered, the dumpster on his left and the othe wall on his right. "I'll just have to squash the oddness out of you." snarled Cruz, stepping closer. Matthew's violet eyes were as wide as saucers and he sqeaked in protest when Cruz picked him up and unceremoniously tossed him into the dumpster. The smell was revolting and he gasped for air, emerging from the trash, scrunching up his nose.

"Ugh, right where you belong, with your own filth, you disgusting piece of shit." sneered Cruz, before walking away.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Matt began to resent himself. Surely if he was being thrown into a dumpster every single day, he must have done something to deserve it. And he couldn't just... stop being gay. He couldn't help his sexual preferences, and he'd be damned if he went out with a girl, because he simply didn't like them like that. Elizaveta was a great friend, she fully sympathized with him about the homophobes at his school, though he had yet to tell _anyone _about what Cruz did to him every day. He took to wearing some old sweats to school and bringing his outfit for tomorrow stashed in his locker.

So he turned to some form of release, and in a droning conversation with a mopy Francis, he learned of self-harm. He first looked onto his papa's scars with something akin to horror, then fascination, and then he pondered the reason behind them. He never pushed Francis for answers; he'd be given them when necessary.

He brooded on the idea of cutting for a few days before he experimentally cut a tiny cut with a razor blade. He gasped, the adrenaline rush was enormous, and for a moment he forgot everything, there had been only the pain.

Things had only escalated from there.

He made it his most importantly guarded secret for the next few months, until Gilbert moved in with his brother Ludwig. He had been an exchange student from Germany originally, but his family had moved to America. He hadn't spoken very good English at first, but he caught on quickly when Matthew was assigned as his tutor. Gilbert's constant, happy presence rubbed off onto Matthew. If only temporarily.

Gilbert had become his best friend, and Matt felt himself slowly, but surely falling in love with him.

If only Gilbert returned his feelings.

PRESENT TIME

And now, Gilbert had come out and said he loved Matt. Matt knew this was going to be hard, habits that you kept for two years would definately die hard. Somehow, he had a feeling Gilbert would help him get through it.

After they finished their pancakes, Gilbert suggeested they watch a movie and settled on _The Avengers. _**(A/N: Yeah yeah, I know it's not going to be on DVD for like three months. : P)**

Even with the heater on, the cold November air wasn't so helpful by the drafty door and window. Gilbert noticed.

"Hey, Birdie, don't sit all alone over there. This seat's small enough for two. Or is it large enough?" asked Gilbert, confusing the two adjectives. Matthew giggled and went to go sit next to his new boyfriend. "There's just the right amount of space for both of us." he corrected, snuggling into Gilbert's chest. The movie ended and still Gil held Matthew.

"You know," Gilbert said seriously, "We're going to have to tell Arthur and Francis about this." he stroked Matt's bandaged forearms delicately.

Matt paled. "Oh no, why?" he begged.

Gilbert sighed and tugged Matthew's curl. "Because they deserve to know and- Birdie, what are you doing?" he interrupted himself as Matthew started panting.

"D-do that again, Gilbert." he said breathlessly. Gilbert was confused again. "What, this?" and he gently pulled that little strand of unruly hair, surprised when his little birdie mewled in pleasure.

He felt his face grow warm when he also felt the little bulge in Matthew's pants, seeing as the Canadian had pressed himself up againt Gilbert's thigh. _When had that happened? _he thought.

"M-mattie?" he said uncertainly. Matthew's face was flushed, his eyes dark and heavy lidded with what Gilbert presumed was- _lust?_

_WHAT THE HELL? _Gilbert thought, bemused. He gasped but didn't protest when Matthew pulled him in for a steamy, hot kiss. In the next few moments, niether was quite sure what had happened, except that when they broke apart, both were shirtless, and Gilbert was straddling Matthew on the couch, pressing their growing-

"Hey, Mattie, I'm home,and I brought- HOLYSHITOHMYFUCKINGGODS!" screamed Alfred (in a very heroic and manly way, of course) at the sight of the two sex-crazed teenage boys ravishing each other on the couch.

Francis sighed, wincing at the weight of the groceries he was lugging and held the closing door open with his foot. "Really, Alfred, you could not hold ze door open, and what were you screaming~ OHONHONHON!"

"Hey, you frog, hold the bloody door open, would you? And what is so horrifying both you and Alfred find it necessary to- _oh."_

And the five of them were in a very awkward atmosphere, indeed.

**A/N: Okay, sorry for ending it here, but it's my mum's birthday and she wants cake now! And I couldn't decide on who I wanted to walk in on Matthew and Gilbert, so I made all the other FACE family members present and accounted for! This chapter is kinda filler, so for that, I'm sorry again. And I'm debating for any M-rated material here, because I know there are readers here under 18 who like the staory and I don't want them to feel left out! (Then again, who really pays attentions to the ratings here anyways?)**


	3. The Hole

_**The Reason Why**_

**A/N: Heh heh, I love you guys, truly. Thirteen reviews for two chapters? That's alright in my book! And all the fave stories, authors and update alerts? I got this fuzzy feeling. So I was thinking, no one protested on this becoming M-rated, not yet anyway, so I'll draw that out for another chapter, in case. Don't be afraid to tell me to keep it T, it's entirely up to you. I'm glad you liked all three of them walking in on Gilbert and Matthew. And if any of you still don't know exactly what Mattie's curl does, well you have some issues.**

**Enjoy!**

Arthur sprang into action first, because his nose wasn't bleeding yet. Yet. He covered Alfred's eyes and dragged the gaping teen into the kitchen, groceries abandoned. Francis looked at an extremely flustered Gilbert and Matthew, who were pulling their shirts on. He raised an eyebrow.

"Um, I think I have overstayed my welcome. Bye, Matt, bye Mr. Bonnefoy." said Gilbert hurriedly, brushing up against Francis and leaving. Matt cleared his throat and picked up a bag of discarded groceries, taking them into the kitchen. Arthur was opening a new box of tissues and Alfred was trying to stem the flow of blood from his nose.

Francis looked at Matthew with an unreadable expression.

"May I speak with you alone, mon cher?" he swallowed and nodded, following his papa upstairs.

"Sit." Francis motioned towards the spot across from him on the bed while he sat on the chair in front of Arthur's desk. Matthew sat.

"Alright, zen. When did you and Gilbert become a couple?" Francis's face suddenly lit up. The abrupt mood swing made Matthew blink. "Well, um, today." he confessed, blushing a bit and not meeting Francis's knowing eyes.

"Well, I fully support it! He seems like a very suitable boy for you, Mathieu, and my goodness, he's terribly good-looking, but next time you have a... craving, please get a bedroom."

Francis winked, and with that, he left the bedroom. Matthew's face resembled a tomato so much, Antonio would have found him quite edible.

XoxoLine BreakoxoX

New Message from Gil: Hey Mattie whassup?

To Gil: The sky

From Gil: Uh oh what happened?

To Gil: I only texted u 2 words, how the heck did u know something happened?

From Gil: I didnt. Now I do. Anwser the qwestion.

To Gil: It's 'question.' And its not that big of a deal.

From Gil: The fact that u say that provs u wrong.

To Gil: It's "proves." Nothing bad happened, Francis is ok wif us.

From Gil: Of course he is. What about Iggy and Alfie?

To Gil: Im gonna find out now. Au revoir, Gil.

From Gil: Bye Mattie

XoxoLine BreakoxoX

With a pat on the back, Arthur sent a rather flustered Matthew back to his room. "Score in a room next time, Matteo!" called Alfred teasingly and Matthew flushed even redder (if that was possible.)

They hadn't really talked much about it; Arthur asked him if he was sure he wanted that, Alfred complained that he never knew Mattie was gay, and Francis kept smirking and pulling roses out of nowhere. Then Arthur cleared his throat and told him next time Gil was over and they were in the same room together, "Erm, I agree with your brother, get a bedroom. Please."

New Message from Gil: So howd it go

To Gil: Ok,but it was embarrassing.

From Gil: Did Alfie say we could use your bedroom or Iggys?;P

To Gil: Hey!

From Gil: I gtg, Luddy's making CAKE!

To Gil: Bye

XoxoLine BreakoxoX

_He glanced at the small wooden box under his bed, arms itching with the want of release. He began crying even before he opened it, pulling the blade out and-_

_A pair of strong yet gentle arms held his back, pulling him close into the unknown chest. Matthew somehow knew it was Gilbert, but why wasn't the albino saying anything? He just held Matthew._

_The phrase 'actions speak louder than words' came to mind and he simply clutched the front of that shirt for dear life, as if his very existence depended on it, and his greatest fear was suddenly that Gilbert would leave him._

_The blood trickled down his arms, though he didn't remember cutting and suddenly Gilbert let go of him and he was falling, falling down into the black oblivion..._

Matthew woke up to the sound of screaming, he couldn't pinpoint it, he was falling into a black abyss, and Gilbert wasn't there to catch him...

Over the piercing scream, Matthew distinctly heard the noise of hurrying footsteps outside his bedroom and it flung open, revealing three blond blurs that raced to his bedside. Francis was the first to get to him.

He scooped Matthew up into his arms, whispering soothing words in his ear in French. "Shhh, shh Matheiu, tout va bien maintenant, personne ne va te faire du mal. (**Shhh, shh Matthew, it's okay now, no one is going to hurt you.)"**

Matthew stopped screaming and began sobbing into his papa's chest. "Il ma quitte papa! Je suis tombé dans le trou, et il m'a quitté! **(He left me, papa! I fell into the hole, and he left me!)"**

Francis was confused. "Quel trou, mon fils?". **(What hole, my son?)"**

Matthew didn't answer, he only pulled himself closer into Francis's chest. The Frenchman held his son there until he fell asleep, kissing his precious Matthew before heading off to discuss what 'hole' Matthew could have possibly been talking about.

A/N: If I have any bilingual readers who speak French, tell me if I must correct the translations above, because it was Google, you know? Thanks! Merci!


	4. Cockblocked, Again!

**A/N: Yay for awesome readers who correct terrible French! You deserve a virtual blueberry muffin, anon Katianne! *gives muffin* So anyway, today was so warm out for the first timsince like last August, and I stayed outside aaaaall day! It was like 78 fecking degrees (Farenheit, of course) Happy Mother's Day, guys! And this story shall remain T-rated!**

**Enjoy! I do not own Hetalia**

With shaky hands, Matthew called Gilbert's number. He picked up on the second ring. "Hello, Mattie! How are you?" asked Gilbert cheerily.

"G-Gilbert?" whispered Matthew, his voice breaking. Gilbert became serious at once.

"Matthew? Was ist passiert?**(What happened?)"**

"P-promise me you'll never leave m-me!" sobbed Matthew quietly. As soon as Francis had left he rose from his feigned sleep and called the one person who could possibly make him feel better right now.

"Huh? Mattie, Birdie, it's one o'clock in the morning, what happened? Of course I'm not going to leave you, unless you leave me for Ludwig or something!"

Through his dried tears, Matthew chuckled weakly, and Gilbert felt relief course through him at the musical sound. "There, see Birdie? It'll be alright." he said softly.

"M-merci, **(Thanks)** Gilbert. I guess I just really needed to hear that. See you tomorrow, and..." Matthew trailed off, blushing slightly.

"Ja?" prompted Gilbert, practically feeling Matt's blush on the other line and smirking.

"Maybe tomorrow we'll have no more cockblocks." he whispered, mortified yet sounding adorably flustered to Gilbert.

"Ja, maybe, Birdie. Maybe."

XoxoLine BreakoxoX

The next day in math, Gilbert poked at Matthew from his seat behind him. Matt ignored him.

Gilbert poked him again and when Matthew merely scratched his nose he whispered, "Pssst, Birdie!"

Matthew ignored him again but jumped when his phone vibrated. He pulled it out of his pocket and pressed his lips in a line to keep from giggling.

"Aah, Mister Williams, something interesting there? You will read what's so funny to the class, da?" said Mr. Braginski, smiling creepily at Matthew,who inwardly groaned.

_Of all times for him to notice me, _he thought bitterly, standing upand clearing his throat

"New Message from Gil: Hey Mattie, I'm booooooored, and you're ignoring me! I bet you wouldn't if I..." Matthew blushed.

"Go on, Matvey, da?" prompted Mr. Braginski.

"If I... erm... bring you over to my place tonight." he looked away, flushing deeper crimson as the class laughed. Gilbert sank lower into his chair, but only because he was laughing too hard.

Matthew wished he was invisible again.

XoxoLine Break oxoX

"Mmmph... Gil, no, Ludwig can come in any second... ngh!"

"Aw, let him, Mattie, like he and Feliciano haven't ever done this before..."

"This is g-gonna end up like the Major Cockblock of the 21st Century, Gil."

Ludwig came in a second later with Feliciano glued to his lips. Neither one noticed until-

"Mmm, Mattie, you're so hot." moaned Gil, burying his face in the crook of Matthew's neck.

Feli broke apart, blinking dazedly. "Hey, Gilbert, hey um... oh yeah, Matthew!" he called cheerily, waving.

"Told you." muttered Matthew as Gilbert hurriedly put his pants back on.

"WAY TO BE A COCKBLOCK, WEST! MEIN GOTT, **(MY GOD) **TWICE IN ONE WEEK!" he shouted.

"Ve~ what's a cockblock, Ludwig? I wanna see!" crowed Feli, pawing at Ludwig's hands in front of his eyes.

"N-nothing, Feli, let's go!" stammered Ludwig, too embarrassed to be angry at his brother for being home early.

"Why the fuck are you even here?" muttered Gilbert, helping Mattie put his shirt back on.

"Oh, Ludwig said we needed some condoms! Though I don't see why, I can't get pregnant. Can I?" Feliciano wondered.

More awkward atmospheres, but not for Feli, of course.

A/N: Short chappie is short. Sorry, I'll upload tomorrow, I promise! And more angst to come!

A/N 2: MAY 14- OMG I reread this chapter and was all like, oh fuck, look at all those errors! So here's the beta version, beta'd by moi, of course!


	5. Before FACE

**A/N: Yay for constant updates! Last chapter was too sugary, or sparkly,or something. Here's a darker one. Also, my mom's laptop is ANCIENT, and she types really fast, so of course the spacebar needs to be pressed hard, and if you don't, the words stick together.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

**Warnings: Child abuse, misuse of panda movies, and a scene of torture.**

Matthew sighed. He was really sick of the intrusions on him and Gilbert. Maybe they should plan where they went at it, and then ... go at it.

_Or maybe, _said a nasty little voice in his head, one he hadn't heard since his last cutting, _the world is sending you a message that you __and Gilbert are never meant to be!_

_'No, that's not right, he promised he wouldn't leave!' _Matthew thought back at the voice.

_'He says that now. What about when he learns your other secret, the one before Arthur and Francis adopted you? He won't want to hang around a filthy, dirty thing like you.'_

Okay, now that just sounded like Cruz. Matthew shivered involuntarily. No one knew about what happened to him before his adoption, not even Francis and Arthur. Only Matthew remembered. And he certainly wasn't going to tell anybody soon.

_'Not ever,' _he thought again, shuddering harder.

Alfred frowned from behind Matthew. They were both in the same health class, one where Gilbert wasn't. He handed a note to Matthew.

'Hey, are you cold or something, dude? Need the awesome hero to lend you his even cooler I mean warmer bomber jacket?' it said. Matthew pursed his lips. Alfred loved that bomber jacket, he must be genuinely concerned about Matthew if he was offering it.

'No, not really, it's just that very detailed picture up there.' he replied.

Alfred looked up and suppressed his laughter. On the overhead was a picture of an STD infected vagina.*

* * *

Matthew was very quiet, even quieter than usual, during lunch that day.

"So, Mattie, since today is Friday, I was thinking we could go see that new umm... the Breaking Dawn p2..." Gilbert muttered. Matthew cracked a small smile.

"Wow, aru, I never thought you were into that kind of romantic yet gory stuff." remarked Yao, holding Kiku's hand under the table. Elizaveta and Satasha (Seychelles) were quietly squealing (if that was possible) and taking pictures.

Gilbert turned slightly pink. "Anything is awesome, once I watch it! And I walked in on Feliciano and Ludwig watching it once, and sort of joined them... I read the books, too!" he said defensively when Yao snorted.

"Hey, at least I don't watch Kung Fu Panda and- mph!"

Yao was scowling and held his hand over Gilbert's mouth. "Don't finish that sentence, aru. It was a one-time thing, I swear!" he hissed, releasing Gilbert. Antonio sat down next to them, Lovino grudgingly following.

"Oh, was it that time you jerked off to Jack Black? Or was it the panda part?" he said dreamily, trying to feed Lovino a tomato.

"Fuck off, tomato bastard," muttered Lovino.

Yao and Kiku both turned bright red. Gilbert was practically rolling around on the floor laughing. Alfred was unusually quiet, too. Matthew looked around for his ordinarily loud and rambunctious brother and noticed him staring goo-goo eyed at Elizaveta. He smirked.

"Yeah, Gil, we can go to the movies tomorrow."

* * *

_"N-non, s'il vous plaît..." whimpered Matthew. His 'caretaker' smiled creepily._

_"Oh, Mattie, Mattie, Mattie. Déposer." he __said softly._

_ It was water torture first; a wet cloth was placed over his face, and then water was poured over it, stimulating the feeling of drowning. Matthew choked and struggled against the bonds that held him._

_Next, his feet were constantly beaten with a belt, buckle-side up, so it hurt even more. Matthew bit his lip to stop from crying out._

_Of course his 'father' was drunk; he bought more vodka from that Russian friend he slurred about selling him to sometimes._

_He was sober enough to stop what he was doing, yet did not. He was sober enough to hold the cloth firmly, sober enough to hit with good aim, sober enough to know he had no reason at all to treat his four-year-old son this way, and sickly enjoy it._

_Yet not sober enough to purposely knock over a candle and setting ablaze the first floor of the tiny house._

_Matthew was half-conscious with the pain of a straightening iron (once belonging to his dead mother) pressed firmly on his arm. His father cussed and drunkenly tipped some of his alcohol on the flames in hope of dousing them, but it actually fed them!_

_"Fuck." the man slurred, staggering towards the stairs, but tripping over the torture devices on the floor and hitting his head on the wall, promptly passing out._

_The rest was history. Matthew had been rescued by firefighters, while his 'father' died, but his vocal cords were severely damaged._

_While moving from foster home to foster home, he continued to stay mostly silent, speaking only when spoken too, which was not often. Finally, after six constant months of moving around, a young gay couple adopted him. They had already adopted another son, but Francis wanted another._

_Francis crouched down in front of the shy boy. "Bon jour, Mathieu. My name is Francis Bonnefoy, and this is Arthur and Alfred. Would you like us to adopt you?" he asked kindly with a French accent._

_Matthew, whose eyes widened at the French, nodded timidly._

_He left with his family and a new white teddy bear named Kumajirou._

**A/N: STDs are to be taken seriously. No offense intended.**


	6. Twihard Fansqueal!

**A/N: Yay, chapter 6! I have to say, I'm very pleased with how the last one came out. Obviously I HATE what happened in it, so I'm sorry about that****!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia- Axis Powers, nor World Series, nor Paint it, White!**

**WARNINGS: UNLESS YOU ARE SMART AND PAID ATTENTION LAST CHAPTER, THERE WILL BE A PLOT TWIST! AND ALSO CHILD ABUSE.**

_"Alice? Why did you-"_

_"Shut up for a second, Bella. Alice, they're coming."_

_"Edward? What's going on, who's coming?"_

_"The Volturi."_

_"..."_

_"Mama, who are they?"_

Gilbert sniffed discreetly. Or so he thought. Matthew looked at him incredulously. "Gilbert, are you-crying?" he asked in disbelief.

Wiping his eyes, the albino vigorously shook his head. "N-nein, my eyes sweat in the dark." he said. Matthew giggled. "Yeah, sure." he snickered.

Gilbert sighed. And huffed. "Renesmee's just so innocent! She shouldn't have to deal with the Volturi at, like, three months old!"

They were at Breaking Dawn, Part 2. Matthew was a bit freaked out by the half-human, half-vampire Renesmee's rate of growth, while Gilbert was disturbed by the red eyes.

"They're not as awesome as mine!" he cried indignantly, shaking his fist at the screen, earning them more than a few odd looks. Matthew agreed and they watched the movie in relative peace. He knew that if Alfred was there he'd be clutching the nearest living thing (which more often than not turned out to be Matthew himself) in fear of the emotionless Volturi. It really made them wonder about the Italian brothers...

Matthew blinked when they exited the theatre. The sun was shining quite brightly today, he noted. Gilbert drove them home, chatting absentmindedly about how totally awesome Twilight was and then going on in a rant of how hypocritical Yao was.

"Like, really, who freaking jerks off to a_ panda? _And and animated panda, at that! I mean, it's just wrong!" he complained.

Matthew shook his head. He truly did love Gilbert.

"Hey, Birdie, wanna go do suttin? Going home is cool and all, but I kind of told Ludwig we'd all go out somewhere after our (awesomer) date." Gilbert said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

Matthew shrugged. "Yeah, sure, anything's fine." he said. He was in a mood to be out today, not sitting around. That was Alfred's job, when he wasn't playing baseball, or moving his whole body in the direction he turned their Wii system remote.

"I was thinking maybe we could play hockey this weekend. Back in Germany, a few of my old friends and or enemies would make a team, and play out on the lake in winter." the albino continued.

Matthew darkened considerably at the mention of hockey. "Well, um, no thanks." he mumbled, cracking his knuckles. Gilbert caught onto the change of mood and raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Really? Al told me you love hockey. Do you have something going on this weekend? We could reschedule, or-"

"It's fine, Gil. Just not a fan of hockey anymore." he said bitterly, but never loosing his quiet demeanor.

There was a silence that could be quallified as awkward, brooding, or both. "Why not?" Gil asked bluntly. He never was one to beat around the tree. Or something like that, anyway. He was surprised and concerned when his boyfriend's face went from annoyance and wistful to angry. Matthew never became angry, but as soon as that look was there it vanished, replaced by sadness.

"Nothing, I just lost interest." He lied terribly, and they both knew it. Then he looked mildly amused.

"When did you talk to Alfred about me?" he asked, knowing full well the two weren't on best terms.

Gilbert blinked and furrowed his brow. He was somewhat confused. There seemed to be something his birdie wasn't telling him for some reason, and the thought wounded him. He thought that maybe after learning what was obviously Matthew's most guarded secret, their relationship would be nothing but open.

But here, sitting in his old beloved 350 SL Mercedes-Benz with his beautiful boyfriend, he was forced to conclude there was much more to him than the layer of shy depression on the surface.

"Hel-looooo? Earth to Gilbert?" said Matthew, waving his hand in front of his own boyfriend's face. Said boyfriend blinked.

"Oh, what? Sorry I zoned out there. We're here!" he said cheerily as they pulled into a parking lot. Matthew recognized some cars that were in the school parking lot here, baffled. Shutting the car door behind him, Matthew took a second to absorb his surroundings.

They were at some internationally diverse buffet thing. The sign read "French, Italian, Asian, Mexican, Spanish, Greek, Russian, German cuisine and more!"

The door had one of those annoyingly cheerful bells that jingled even when you were ten feet away from entering the door itself.

Gilbert walked up to the bored-looking waitress at the podium thingy and said, "We're with the Hetalia reservation, Gilbert and Matthew!"

She waved them in and Matthew was a bit shocked (totally bemused) to see a few large tables connected to accomodate everyone. And "everyone" included Antonio, Lovino, Ludwig, Feliciano, Yao, Kiku, Tino, Berwald, Roderich, Lilli and Vash Zwingli, Mr. Braginski, and a large-breasted, teary-eyed and short-haired woman.

"Hey Mattie!" Oh, and Alfred and Elizaveta.

Matthew looked up to Gilbert like a deer in the headlights. "Gilbert, why the hell is everyone here? What happened?" he had to supress his laughter at Matthew's look. He was just soooo cute!

"Well, you know pretty much everyone here, and they were all bored, having not seen the awesomeness of Twilight and all, so your bro decided we should all just hang out. That is Ivan Braginski, Mr. Braginski's son, and Katyusha, his older sister. Ivan's sister, that is." said Gilbert.

Matthew could now see the difference between his world history teacher and Ivan, though to be honest they were unsettlingly subtle. Ivan had the same, babyish features and creepy, ever-present smile, but he was blue-eyed and had no long coat or vodka. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans.

Behind him, Matthew noticed for the first time Toris, who looked terrified to be there, and to Matthew's confusion he sent a pitying look in his direction.

Alfred pat the spot next to him and between Ludwig for Gilbert and Matthew to sit down, which they did. Al promptly launched into a conversation to the general public about how he could use frying pans for weapons in a game of airsoft, to which only Elizaveta seemed to be listening.

Roderich and Vash were quietly arguing over some cheese related thing or another while Lilli tried in vain to quiet them.

They went up to their respectively favorite national buffets and ate in peace, sort of.

"Hey, Gil, I'll be back soon, I have to use the restroom." he murmured. Gil nodded briefly, before digging back into his food. Ivan stood up, too, ignoring Toris's pleading looks.

"I too need to go." he said.

About halfway through the door Matthew felt hot breath on his neck saying, "Sorry," before something was pressed over his mouth and the world turned black.


	7. Revenge

**A/N: Okay, I couldn't leave you guys with a cliffie for too long, now could I?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.**

**Warnings: WTF moments, Alfred, Francis, swears, torture, and too many Hetalia characters!**

Alfred was in ecstasy. Elizaveta had asked him to meet her outside of the room for a moment to "talk." She actually used the quotation marks in the air! And then she kissed him!

Not just a peck on the lips, or a chaste touch. No, a full-out make-out session that probably had her ex, Roderich, getting suspicious. She whispered into Al's ear, "So, does this make us together? Or is there a guy I should know?"

He laughed slightly. "Liz, just cos I'm bi doesn't mean I go for every person I see, so yeah, if you want, we can be together."

She pulled him back into the dining room. "Oh yes, my crazy American boyfriend, I would like that very, very much." And then she laughed when Al turned uncharacteristically red.

Gibert raised a silver eyebrow. "Oi, Burger-butt, what's got you so happy?" he said around a chicken leg.

Alfred inflated his chest. "The hero has scored!" he said gleefully. Vash rolled his eyes and did the Heimlich maneuver* on the choking Roderich.

Elizaveta smirked and wacked him playfully with her frying pan. "I believe it was I who kissed you first."

"Big Bruder, why does Mr. Specs have a blue face?" Lilli asked innocently.

Gilbert himself choked a bit. "Mr. Specs? Is that what you call Roddy in front of your sister, Vash? Geez, I guess my awesome nicknames- THAT'S SO DISGUSTING!" he yelled, wiping the bits of food Roderich coughed up off of his face.

"S-sorry, Gilbert!" he gasped, a part of him not sorry at all. Said albino frowned slightly and looked around.

"Mattie's been gone kinda long." he murmured, then grinned impishly."I bet he visited the Mexican buffet."

But when Matthew and Ivan still hadn't shown up ten minutes later, Gilbert got up and went to the bathroom, not noticing Toris following him anxiously.

He pushed open the mahagony doors and poked his pale head inside. "Mattie? Ivan?" he called, fearing the worst (Matthew and Ivan having sex up against a stall wall.)

But when all he heard was his own fearful voice echoed back at him, he got extremely worried, checking all the stalls. They were completely empty!

A timid voice cleared their throat behind him, and Gilbert whirled around, Matthew's name on the tip of his tongue, but the words died when he saw it was only Toris. "What is it, man?"

"Well, I um, I think if you're looking for Matthew and Ivan, you should try Mr. Braginski's b-basement." and then Toris fled the room, the restaurant, and possibly the country in fear of what he had just done, leaving a baffled Gilbert behind, and a small piece of paper.

Gilbert bent down and picked it up, reading carefully.

_187 Akdov Avenue, the side door is unlocked. Please don't hate me for this, my father is a very powerful man._

_-Ivan_

Tino was falling asleep across Berwald's chest, the latter of which held his "wife" snugly. Lovino was trying desperately (and failing miserably) to push a pedophilic Antonio off of him.

Al, probably the densest out of all of them, was surprisingly the first one to sense Gilbert's mood. "Where's Mattie?" he demanded.

The table quieted down significantly when Gilbert sat down somberly. "We have a rescue mission, guys." And he explained the situation, reading the note aloud.

When he was finished, Feliciano said, "Ve~ why would Ivan and his dad kidnap Matthew?" he asked Ludwig.

"It would seem," the blond German said slowly, "that Mr. Braginski somehow has a vendetta against Matthew and put his son up to it. As a matter of fact, I don't think Ivan was particularly interested in actually kidnapping Matthew, based on what he said in the note."

Roderich nodded. "We all know Mr. B always noticed Mattie in his classes, so maybe he was actually planning this for a while." There were murmurs of assent.

Vash hauled himself out ofhis seat and took Lilli's small hand. "Well, you guys can go out and do whatever you want, but Lilli and I are going to be staying neutral."

And they left then. "What is this, war?" muttered Roderich.

Gilbert nodded fiercely. "It is war. Especially if Braginski so much as touched the curl on Mattie's head, it's war." he vowed.

With a start, Alfred came out of his angry cloud. He was reminded of the time he said he'd protect Mattie if Lovino had even sworn at the curl on his head, and he saw red again.

He stood up abruptly. "Alright, then. Here's the plan. After I dish the plan, I'm calling Arthur and Francis. When they come, anyone else who wants to come can, we'll be heading to 187 Akdov Ave. Feliciano and Lovino will be waiting at the getaway van, ready to high-tail it out of there at any second.

"Ludwig, Antonio, Roderich, and Kiku will be following Yao, myself, Liz, and Arthur. Francis will be there, ready to cause a distraction. We'll find Mattie, haul him to the van, rush to the hospital if need be, and anyone who wants to stay and kick Braginski's ass can, just let me go first. Questions?" he said briskly.

Everyone stared at him in shock. Sure, he definately was serious when it came to food and/or video games, but when it actually counted? WTF?

Ludwig shook out of his surprise stupor first. "What about Tino and Berwald?"

"T'no's sl'p'ng, we w'n't be c'm'ng." Berwald grunted, picking up the sleeping Tino bridal style, nodding to the group, and leaving. Alfred was already on the phone.

"What is it, you git? Francis and I were having a moment!" gasped Arthur into the phone.

Alfred refrained from rolling his eyes. Now was not the time. "Dad, listen. I need you to tell me if there's anything Ivan Braginski had to do with Matthew, even if it was before you adopted him." he spoke urgently, effectively stopping Arthur's to-be rant.

"What? Ivan Braginski? Well, uh... that's really for Matt to tell you, son, not me. Why? Isn't he with you?"

Alfred's throat tightened and he swallowed the self-hating bile in it. 'All my fault...' He shook his head. 'Now is the time to save him. To be a real hero.' "Dad, listen to me. Do not freak out, whatever you do. In fact, put Francy-pants on the phone."

There was a slight scuffing noise, a soft "honhonhon~" and then Alfred was telling Francis rapidly what had happened to Matthew.

"Zat is not good, Alfred. We'll be there in ten minutes. And your voice has changed, perhaps a lady friend has been exploring your mouth?"

Alfred knew Francis could practically feel his blush on the other line.

"Shut up, you frog! Now isn't the time! We have to be there in ten minutes!" shouted Arthur's voice from the other side.

They made it in five.

"Alright, Lovi, Feli, go start up the van." said Antonio. The twins did so.

In the corner, Francis beckoned to Alfred and Gilbert. "You must both hear this. Before Arthur and I adopted Mathieu, his father seriously abused him. I'm not talking of a simple swat on the behind, I'm saying Chinese forms of torture zat would break a grown man, harsh beatings with belts, fists, and anything zat beast could get his paws on.

"He was also a drug and alcohol addict. He preferred vodka, and do you want to know where it was suspected he got all those devices from? Ivan Braginski's father, Ivan Senior. Ze courts found him innocent, however, but your father and I always thought ze man was a creeper. He probably had close relations to Mathieu's father and they traded things.

"I'd bet my red skinny jeans zat Ivan was drunk when he ordered zat poor boy of his to take Mathieu, if only for revenge."

"Renenge for what?" Alfred and Gilbert said at the same time.

"Six months before we adopted Mathieu, his father drunkenly set fire to the basement and killed himself. Mattie suffered severe damage to his vocal cords.

"Ivan wants revenge for killing his number one trading partner."

**I hate to end it here, sorry.**


	8. Disgusting Vodka Asswipe

**A/N: This chapter was very hard to write, although quite long compared to the others. Thanks to more French translating helpers! Unfortunately, my document manager's acting retarded, so when I reread the chapter on my DSi yesterday, I noticed I forgot to add what the Heimlich maneuver was, and it wouldn't let me upload the new content. So here's what it means:**

**heimlich maneuver: an emergency rescue procedure for application to someone choking on a foreign object, in which the rescuer places a fist between the victim's lower ribs or upper abdomen from behind and exerts sudden pressure in the form of thrusts of sufficient force to help expel the object from the windpipe.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

**Warnings: Rape. This chapter is not for people who believe Canada is weak, or who are bothered by gore, torture, and...Ivan. I'm so sorry, Mattie. :(**

Matthew awoke cold, half-naked, and strapped down to what he presumed was a table.

"Ah, Matvey, I see you are awake." said a rather childish and familiar voice from behind him. He shivered slightly as Ivan Braginski, Senior, stepped out of the shadows in his long coat, a bottle of vodka clenched tightly in his left hand and a lead pipe in his right.

"Where am I? Why am I here?" Matthew demanded (softly), but with anger in his voice. The Russian laughed, a babyish giggle really, if not for the menacing undertone. "No questions from you, Matvey. No talking, because really, you should not ever have been able to. Not after that fire."

Matthew's eyes widened when suddenly he recalled a flashback. His father was slurring drunkenly again, totally missing Matthew with his battered vodka bottle, and it crashed to the cement floor in a twinkle of glass.

He remembered the man cursing in French before muttering something about, "Gotta go see the Russian guy Ivan, he'll gimme more vodka." (in French, of course.)

'Ivan.' thought Matthew, a growing feeling of dread coursing through him.

"You remember me, da?" Ivan said quietly, taking another stagger towards the terrified Canadian strapped to the table. "Because I most definitely remember you, and how you killed my partner in that fire!"

'Nonononono, this is so not happening, please God, don't let this be happening!' he thought desperately when Ivan started rummaging through a box of "goodies" under the table.

He stood up, and once again Matthew was struck by how tall Ivan was. Never before had his history teacher seemed so menacing.

"This looks fun, Matvey, da?" he _purred, _holding up a thin, inch-wide metal plate attatched to wires, which in turn were plugged into small outlets in the wall.

"Oh mon Dieu, help me." Matthew whispered to the cold-looking ceiling when he heard a slight buzzing noise emanate from the small metal plates.

"Do want to know where these go, Matvey?" whispered Ivan into the Canadian's ear. Matthew kept his eyes away from Ivan's (which so matched his own!) and remained defiantly silent.

"I said, do you want to know?" hissed Ivan, slapping Matthew across the face, earning a sharp cry. "N-no." Matthew spit back, equally venomous. He refused to give Ivan the satisfaction of getting to him.

"Too bad." And then Ivan shoved the electric plates under Matthew's finger nails. His whole body convulsed and he released a strangled cry before a scream tore at his throat. He tried to thrash around but the straps held fast. Ivan had a sickeningly pleasured grin on his face as he held the electric plates under Matthew's fingernails.

"Oh yes, scream Matvey, scream! I will make you completely lose that voice of yours, one way or another!" cackled Ivan masochistically, reveling in the pain-filled shrieks of his victim.

Because that's just the kind of thing Ivan was.

* * *

"Alright, role call! Pasta and Tomate?"

"Ve~ here!"

"Here, burger bastard."

"Scones, Crepes?"

"Here."

"Oui."

"Frying pan, Grand Piano, Wurst, Gilbird?"

"Here, sweetie!"

"I am also present."

"Same."

"The awesome me would never miss it! Now hurry the fuck up, we gotta save Mattie!"

"Lao Jou, Arigato Sauce, Senior Tomate?"

"Here, aru."

"Hay."

"Aw, Lovi, your face looks like a tomato~!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHY THE HELL DID YOU CALL YOUR CODE NAME SENIOR TOMATE?"

"Such colorful language! Like a rainbow!"

"LIKE A RAIN- YOU FUCKING GAY PUS-"

"Oi, all you wankers, we have to go save Matthew! Now is certainly not the time to be arguing! Tomate, Senior Tomate, we're leaving! Get in the car! And no, Francis, we can't have the whole back seat too ourselves." Scones glared at all of them. He personally didn't see the need for all these code names, but Alfred had insisted, the git.

They sped along to 187 Akdov Ave; thankfully the roads were empty in this area.

The side door was unlocked, and there was Raivis in the doorframe, twiddling his thumbs nervously and looking like he was about to pee himself in anxiety.

"H-here. I d-don't know what room Ivan has M-matthew in, niether d-does Eduard, T-toris or Ivan junior, it's just somewhere low in the house. Be c-careful, I hope you g-guys find him!" Raivis whispered, before taking off down a corridor.

Hero breathed in carefully through his nose. The house smelled of vodka, wood, something musky...and then there was the faintest trace of maple syrup, leading towards a dank dark hallway to the left. He made the "move forward" sign with his hand and they followed him, wondering how on earth he knew where to go.

"Hero-san, are you sure this is where we are supposed to be going?" Arigato sauce asked.

Suddenly they heard a piercing, all-too-familiar scream come from the direction Hero was leading them. "Unfortunately, yes, Kiku!" hissed Alfred, terror egging him on, and he ran faster then he had ever in his entire life (Which was actually saying something, seeing how he was on their school's football team.) and code names forgotten.

There was a drunken-sounding laugh. "Kolkolkolkolkol~ I must say Matvey, you are definately stronger than I thought! Most grown men would have probably stopped strugging by now!"

Arthur's blood ran cold. _Oh God, no. Matthew, please be alright. _He then began a long internal prayer in Welsh for his son.

Gilbert's fear was quickly overcome by dread, but he too tried to think the best. But why was the damn room not coming closer? They were kicking open each door as quietly as possible through the twisting maze of the Russian's huge house, but they weren't in any of them!

_"Most grown men would have stopped struggling by now."_

Gilbert's anger grew and grew with each failed door. "Where the fuck are they? I can still hear them!" he whisper-shouted, clutching his hair in frustration.

Then there was a sound that made everyone freeze, and both Ludwig and Antonio were suddenly glad niether Lovino nor Feliciano were there.

There was a zipping noise, the sound that paralyzed them all, then silence.

"What the- what the hell are you doing? Get- GET AWAY FROM ME!" cried Matthew, his voice softer than usual and quite hoarse from all the screaming.

No one could have been prepared for what came next, and Francis probably would have bet all of his red skinny jeans that even Ivan Senior wasn't truly expecting it, but the Russian said anyway,

"Shut up, Matvey. Your father was a very good man, and everything he ever did to you was only for your own good. Da?" there was a loud slap, and Matthew cried out a little.

Alfred's nose most certainly wasn't working now, what with the turmoil of emotions practically driving him insane, but when he heard a whimper he forced himself to think only one thing: Mattie. Not hamburgers, not food or video games or being a hero, not even of Ivan, Senior- just Mattie. He was the first to start moving, breaking everyone else out of their stupor, and they continued following Alfred's nose, not even stopping when Matthew screamed, "OH M-MAPLE! P-PLEASE, NO! STOP!" he sobbed.

Ivan panted, "O-oh, Matvey, you are good." he moaned.

Alfred skidded to a halt at the beginning of one corridor. There were at least two dozen doors, and then a dead end. "They're in one of these! Move, people." he whisper-screamed.

Twenty doors down, Yao cracked open a door, and almost vomited at what he saw. He quickly shut it, though the image would forever be branded into his brain.

"A-alfred, aru..." he whispered, weak-legged, pointing shakily at the door. "They're- he's in there- oh my God, aru." Yao gasped and vomited into the corner. Kiku held his hair out of his face and looked up at Alfred in fear. "Arfred-san, we'll go terr Fericiano-kun and Romano-kun to get the car ready. Come on, Yao." he said urgently, helping his ashen-faced boyfriend get up and stagger out of sight.

Alfred was about to kick the door down and do some serious butt-kicking when a hand clasped his shoulder gently but firmly. "Mon cher, **(my dear- masculine)** we must be careful about zis, non? You need moi to make a distraction, or do we just pull zat slime-ball off Mathieu?"

He stared at his papa with a crazed look and Francis reluctantly removed his hand. "Right zen, Yao has a strong stomach, and do not ask me how I know zis, so whatever is in zere must be truly awful." he warned.

They then proceeded to kick down the door (quite necessary; it was locked in many spots) and were greeted with such a shocking sight everyone froze. All their bubbling suspicions, ever since they heard the zipper, had been repressed by the hope that no, Matthew was not being violated brutally, but here was the proof right in front of them. Matthew's eyes were squeezed shut so tightly it was amazing tears managed to fall out of them. His whole body shook with sobs and the pain of being torn open. Ivan was very big, and there was blood everywhere, _and holy shit Matthew's being raped and no one's doing anything-_

Gilbert was the first to move, or rather act. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU FILTHY VODKA-DRINKING ASSWIPE!" He then proceeded to hurl German profanities at the befuddled and yes, still drunk, Ivan Senior, that made Ludwig blush, despite the current situation.

Ivan removed himself from Matthew, who appeared to be unconscious, but when the Russian was all the way out he released a bloodcurdling, hair-raising scream of pure agony before it cut off and he was reduced to silent sobs. Ivan smiled faintly, further igniting everyone's anger. Elizaveta normally would have had a severe nosebleed at the sight of gay sex, but here- HELL. FUCKING. NO.

She raised her frying pan and, with as much strength as she could muster, brought it down on the drunken man's babyish head, knocking him down instantly. Roderich looked at her and scooted away instantly.

Alfred began to shed tears of everything- all his emotions, sorrow, fear, guilt, anger- as he launched himself at the dazed man on the floor, screaming in such a pure, raw rage that it awed everyone.

Meanwhile, Gilbert rushed to Matthew's bleeding form, hastily but gently undoing his bonds, and gingerly pulled up the crying Canadian's pants. He cradled him in his arms, whispering, "Oh, Gott Birdie, it will be fine, I swear. Just look, your bro's doing a fine job on Braginski!" he didn't say how much he wanted to be there kicking the monster's pathetic asshole, but Mattie was more important. He carefully picked his boyfriend up, wincing when Mattie gave a hoarse cry of pain at the sudden movement.

"Shh, shh Mattie, I know it hurts- let's go, Francis, help me with him! Arthur, stop Alfred before he kills Braginski. Not that I'm complaining, but still." Gil said.

Francis tenderly held Matthew's legs and they swiftly carried him away from that room, away from the house.

"Oh, my fucking God! What the hell happened to him?" gasped Lovino in horror at the sight of Matthew. The Canadian had only been with the vodka bastard for two hours at most! His angelic face was littered in bruises, and they were all certain every inch of his body looked identical. His left arm was bent in a funny way, his nose was bleeding, there was blood seeping out of his-

Lovino swallowed back his bile. Now he saw why Yao had entered the van looking so sick.

"HURRY UP!" cried Gilbert, pointing to Feliciano, who was also staring at Matthew, dumbstruck. He slammed his foot back on the pedal.

"Wait, what about Antonio, Arthur, Ludwig, Elizaveta, Roderich, and Alfred?" asked Lovino.

"They're going to call the police, and we're going to ze hospital. Now, Feli, step on it and let your Italian genes show their colors!" spoke Francis urgently.

Feliciano needed no further prompting, and stepped on it.


	9. I know'

**Yo peeps, I just wanna Say THX SOOO FREAKIN MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND SHIT! I'm sorry. I got a review, and I reached an epiphany, one might say, so the rating has been changed to M. I apologise, it's just that when I first published the story it was supposed ot be an angsty one-shot, but it's escalated into so much more. Thanks again, and...**

**ENJOY!**

**WARNINGS: ANGST ANGST ANGST**

"Thanks, Dad." muttered Alfred, accepting the tissue Arthur oh-so-helpfully handed him to staunch the blood flow from his nose. And no, it wasn't the "OMG-I-JUST-SAW-SOMETHIN-SO-FRICKIN-HOT-THAT-I-PROLLY-SHOULDN'T-HAVE" kind of nosebleed, but the "I-just-got-punched-in-the-face-by-a-drunk-and-abusive-Russian" kind of nosebleed.

"I do not think it is broken, Arthur." said Francis, peering closely at Alfred's face (no pun intended ;p) Arthur nodded absently, not entirely worried about Alfred at the moment. They were all more concerned with Matthew.

'Gilbert is probably taking things the wurst,' (hahahahaha) thought Ludwig, the way he was muttering horrific scenes of torture for Ivan Braginski, Senior, that still made Ludwig blush. Profusely. He was also slowly going bald by pulling his hair out, curled up in a ball, and would glare painfully at anyone within ten feet of him.

A tired-looking doctor came out of the room and introduced himself as Lukas. 'Funny hat, he has.' thought Arthur.

"Matthew William's family?" he asked. Alfred stood up and nodded, bloody nose momentarily forgotten.

"Aah. Bring anyone deemed close for his condition." Lukas said. Gilbert's eyes had snapped up at the word "Matthew" and stared at the Bonnefoy-Kirkland family pleadingly. None of them objected when he stood up and walked over to them and they all followed the doctor into a room near the IC units.

"Alright then." Lukas sighed, and gestured to the door to Matthew's room. "He's in there, and as of right now we have him stabilised. His fingernails had to be removed, otherwise they would have either deformed or become infected- or both. His right arm is fractured in two places, his leg muscles have been ripped, his whole body is littered with bruises, and, of course... his internal injuries. Two punctured lungs. Anal wall ruptures. And, also... Matthew has permanent vocal cord damage. I'm afraid he probably will never be able to speak again."

There were several sharp intakes of breath. To never hear that soft sweet voice that always had something kind to say? The shyness with subtle, hidden sincerity woven into every word?

That was a low blow, made harder because Ivan Braginski had gotten what he wanted, even if it had earned him a life sentence in jail (Matthew had been out long enough for the cops to assume that was probably going to happen to Ivan when he got out of the hospital.)

He had gotten revenge, and nothing anyone did could take anything back.

Arthur saw Lukas giving him and Francis meaningful looks and with a cold surge of dread he realised it wasn't over. "Mr. Kirkland, Mr. Bonnefoy, may I speak with you in private?" he said. They glanced at each other fearfully, following Lukas down the hallway.

Gilbert knew very well what Lukas was going to tell them, and it was so obvious on his face apparently that even Alfred sensed the mood and caught on. "Gilbert, you know what else it is." he accused. Gilbert simply nodded, eyes on Matthew's fathers, whose eyes had suddenly gone wide with disbelief. Arthur laughed and lightly punched Lukas, and Gilbert read "Nice one, mate." on his lips.

Francis shook his head, mouthing "non non non" over and over again before sobbing. Arthur stopped laughing, eying the sad-looking doctor incredulously. "No way Matthew would ever do such a thing! I mean, what on earth could his motives be?"

"You'd have to ask Matthew that. In fact, I'm certain he's awake right now." said Lukas, gesturing to Matthew's door.

They all hurried in immediately and there was Matthew, staring blankly out the window to the boring scenery below.

"Mattie?" asked Alfred uncertainly. Matthew turned his head and smiled weakly at them, raising his non-injured hand in greeting. The look in his eyes was dull, however- completely devoid of any emotion. It scared Gilbert.

"Hello, son. Erm- how are you feeling?" Arthur asked lamely. He was never good at these kinds of things. And even worse now that he learned something the boy had so obviously kept secret for... two years, was it that Lukas bloke had said? Yes, that was it. Two. Years.

The thought made Francis slightly sick to his stomach. He should have seen the signs- he had been a self-harmer after all, non? Matthew always scratched his wrists, wore long sleeves, spent copious amounts of time in his bedroom, and hardly ever smiled.

Just like Francis had been.

They should have noticed.

Matthew saw something in their expressions that made his stomach churn slightly, the same way it did when he thought about what Ivan did to him. Speaking of whom...

"Braginski's beat up pretty good." said Alfred cheely, trying to lighten the mood. "I toally bludgeoned his face! The cops didn't even arrest me for it. He's still out cold."

Matthew himself turned a bit cold and searched for a notepad nearby, scribbling down hastily, "He's not anywhere near this room, is he?"

"What? Hell no, Mattie! We'd never do that to you! And his door is under guard 24 hours a day. You're completely safe here." promised Alfred.

Matthew sighed in relief, and winced, touching his bandaged throat. 'The doctors won't tell me what's wrong with me, other than not to speak. Should I even ask?" he wrote.

"Probably not, Mathieu." said Francis. They spent the next couple hours discussing physical therapy sessions for his arm, how much Alfred wished Ivan was dead, what had become of Toris, Eduard, Raivis, and Ivan, Junior, but none of them addressed what Lukas had said. Arthur and Francis weren't really sure how to approach the subject.

Arthur decided now was as good a time as any, and cleared his throat. "Matthew, can I please see your good arm for a second?" he asked. Confused, the Canadian nodded, holding out his noninjured arm.

Arthur held it as if it was made of glass and would shatter with the slightest mishandling. There were pale white and light pink scars running down the length of it, all the way from the crook of his elbow to his wrist. Arthur swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and cast a glance at Francis. This definately wasn't the first time he had been in this situation, though that hardly made things easier.

"Mattie, what're those wierd-looking lines on your arm? Did Braginski cut those, too? What the hell, where's that Lukas guy, why didn't he-"

"He didn't get those from Ivan." Gilbert cut Alfred off bluntly, unable to meet Matthew's widened eyes. Alfred chuckled nervously.

"What are you talking about, where else could he have- oooooooohh." Alfred's own eyes widened considerably in realisation and horror.

He glanced down at Matthew, who had not pulled his scarred arm out of Arthur's gentle grip. "B-but, why would he-"

"Why don't you ask him?" hissed Gilbert. Alfred flinched.

"Why, Mathieu? Did you- was the reason from me, when I told you I used to...?" trailed off Francis softly.

Matthew shook his head miserably.

They would all like to say they had a long, heartfelt conversation next, filled with many tears, buts adly no. (besides the tears and crying part.)

Instead, Alfred pulled his twin into the biggest, most gentle bear hug he had ever given. "I'm sorry, Matthew. Never again, okay?" he whispered. Matthew nodded, breathing shakily. He knew there was more than one thing Alfred was going to stop.

Francis suddenly realised something. "Gilbert, when did you find out about zis?"

Gil looked guilty."Well- uh..."

Matthew raised his hand to stop the Prussian. He wrote something down and handed it to Alfred, who read, "WHAT? HE KNEW FOR A WEEK? Oh, and Mattie says he didn't want Gilbert to tell anyone."

Oh yes, Matthew truly did love his family.

Gilbert sat down next to Matthew and looked at him searchingly. Mattie knew what his boyfriend wanted, blushed, and leaned in for a kiss, which Gil happily returned.

Francis smiled, and Alfred sniffed disdainfully, reminding Arthur of himself.

"FOOD TIME!" said Alfred suddenly, leaping to his feet and running out of the room, followed by an amused Arthur dragging a reluctant Francis away from the gooey scene.

Gilbert pulled away and leaned his head against Matthew's. Before he could start begging for forgiveness for leaving him alone with Ivan, junior, Matthew pressed a finger to his lips and replaced it with his own lips.

'I know.' the kiss said.


	10. Seduction

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

**WARNING! TERRIBLE LAME YAOI**

**Enjoy!**

**CHRISTMAS OF 2013, ABOUT A YEAR LATER, IN FACT**

**'words'= Mattie's iPad**

_**Words= **_**thoughts**

Matthew groaned as that dumb rap song thingy "I'm Awesome!" played from his phone. Why the hell was Gilbert calling him so damn early? For crying out loud, it was- he checked the alarm clock next to his bed- 6:30 in the morning!

He turned on the camera grouchily, blowing his curl out of his face and putting on his glasses. 'What is it?' he wrote on a paper and held it up to the camera.

"Heyyyy Mattieeee~! MERRY CHRISTMAS!" shouted Gilbert, making Matthew jump about three feet in the air and dropping the phone in his lap.

'Jesus Christ, Gil, you trying to wake everyone within a ten-mile radius up?' he typed. The Prussian just laughed. "Naw, I just wanted to wake the awesomest boyfriend in the world up to let him know his equally awesome boyfriend HAS OPENED YOUR PRESENT!" he sang.

Matthew smiled despite himself, making Gilbert swell with happiness. It took a bit to make Mattie smile after the... incident. 'And did my awesome boyfriend happen to like my present?' he asked, sort of joking, sort of worried and serious.

"HELL YEAH, MATTIE! IT'S SOOO CUTE!"

And then Gilbert rambled on about how totally awesome and adorable Matthew's present had been. It was a small yellow bird Matthew had seen Gilbert staring and cooing at in the mall a while ago, and decided to get it for him. "I have named him Gilbird!" declared Gilbert. 'A worthy name.' Matthew bowed towards his boyfriend.

'So, what's my present? Al said u didn't drop anything off.' wrote Matthew. He sincerely hated losing his voice, but was too lazy to learn ASL.

Gilbert suddenly looked a mixture of worried and excited. "Well, uh Mattie, I have a backup present in case you don't like my first one, and I just want you to know that I will never, ever hurt you in any way, especially not the way Ivan did, okay?" he asked anxiously, serious all of a sudden.

Matthew blinked but didn't flinch at the mention of Ivan's name, a new accomplishment he had gained only recently. Kissing therapy really worked well with Gilbert. 'Of course I know that, Gilbert.' he jotted, confused.

"Okay, well, your present will be ready tonight at that totally kick-ass party at your house." said Gilbert, a strange tone in his voice. Matthew nodded, still confused, but he trusted Gilbert. He had too.

After all, the Prussian had been his ultimate anchor and block throughout the past year. He was the epitome of support, hugging and helping Matthew whenever he needed it, whether it be moral support, a shoulder to cry on, a distraction, and the physical things. Like going to the physical therapy for his arm (which had completely healed by now) eating, and going to the bathroom.

But the most Gilbert or anyone had ever done for him was attending Ivan's trial. (AN: No, I'm not going into details.) He shuddered at the memroy, but shook it off. It was Christmas, he should be out celebrating! 'Okay, Gil. See you then.'

* * *

'Why can't I make breakfast?' complained Matthew, shoving his iPad under Francis's nose. His papa pushed it away and chuckled at Matthew's pouting. "Non, Mathieu, you always do such nice things for us, I should only repay! Your father 'as cooking like sheet, and your brother eats all zat MeecDonald's." Francis shivered.

Matthew's pout was replaced by a smile.

After they ate breakfast, they all opened presents. Matthew had gotten Alfred a new XBOX controller and a few games. "Thanks bro!~" he said cheerily, giving Matthew his own gift. A new hockey stick! His eyes brightened and he hugged Alfred.

Francis gave a box to Arthur, smirking. The Englishman nervously opened the lid to take a peek, promptly turned bright red, and snapped it shut. He shoved his gifts in their laps. Alfred got an autographed baseball and a McDonald's giftcard. Matthew got a beautiful snowglobe with the image of a polar bear in the Arctic.

Francis gave Alfred and Matthew their gifts, ignoring Arthur's protests. ("Seriously, you frog, if what they got is any similar to me-" "Hohonhon~ shut up.")

Alfred opened the box somewhat nervously to see a totally awesome pair of Osiris high tops with the American flag colors all over them. "America, fuck yeah!" he fist-pumped. Matthew opened his and saw a new pair of hockey skates with a big maple leaf on the sides. 'Oh wow, thanks papa.' he wrote, stroking the sides gently.

"No problem, cher. Now, let's see what I got, non?" Francis opened Arthur's gift and he sat there in surprise for a moment, opening the note first. Later Matthew and Alfred would learn it said, 'Do not hold this up in front of the boys. As a matter of fact, don't open it yet. There will be plenty of time for it in the bedroom.' and Farncis actually got a bit of a nosebleed in anticipation. "Merci, Arthur." he said, kissing the Englishman on his red cheek.

Matthew and Alfred had pooled a bit of money to get Francis a new pair of boots, ("Oh my! How lovely!") and also they got Arthur a whole new set of Jane Eyre works. ("At least someone has taste in literature." "Shut up! It's not as if you don't have porn under your pillow, too!")

Alfred then shooed Matthew away to go get supplies for the "totally kick-ass party we're having tonight!"

Matthew truly didn't doubt the party wouldn't be kick-ass, he just hoped his brother had enough sense not to invite Cruz. They never got along much anyway, but then again fate had that way of changing anything Mattie hoped wouldn't happen into what really would happen, unfortunately.

* * *

Gilbert was not nervous. Why would he be? The worst that could happen was that Matthew would reject him- no, the worst would be Mattie felt threatened and begin to cry- NO. He was NOT nervous, okay?

He had a feeling Mattie wanted this too. It had absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that when he slept over on Friday that Mattie was having dream sex with some "anonymous" lover, and the way he curled into Gilbert's side. Nothing at all. Too bad Mattie couldn't moan his name, though.

The Prussian stopped his dirty thoughts there, not wanting to get hard even before he arrived at the party.

"Ve~! We're here!" sang Feliciano, practically dragging Ludwig out of the car. "Don't get too drunk, Gilbert, or you might do something to Matthew you'll regret later." he warned before going into the house. Gil nodded before he did.

Giltook a deep breath. He could do this! He was awesome, wasn't he? This wouldn't be too hard, he just needed to be gentle with his little birdie. Hell, he was so needy of his boyfriend he'd even let him top, if he wanted! Not really.

...

Okay, so maybe he hadn't gotten laid in a while, but he refused to push his birdie into anything he didn't want to do. He had the whole night planned out.

"Phase one." he muttered, stepping over the threshold and eyeing the grinding bodies in front of him. "Find Mattie."

The Canadian definately wasn't hard to find in this crowd, mainly because there was a bit of a crowd around him. Alfred was in the corner, making out with Elizaveta, while Vash and Roderich STILL kept glancing at each other out of the corners of theior eyes and looking away when the other noticed, blushing.

Even Feliciano could have felt the sexual tension between them.

Gilbert chuckled to himself. If tonight was a success, he'd have to totally work on his matchmaking skills.

"Hey guys, can I steal Mattie for a sec? I wanna give him his Christmas present!" he said cheerily, shoving past Antonio, who stumbled into Lovino.

"Clumsy bastard." muttered Lovino, helping the Spaniard back up again before stalking away, hand in hand. Or rather, Lovino stalked, and Antonio skipped.

'Hey, Gil.' typed Mattie, putting his hand in the Prussian's.

"Hi Mattie. C'mere, I need to talk to you about something." said Gilbert, uncharacteristically serious, pulling a confused Canadian along behind him to go upstairs. _Phase two: Get Mattie alone._

After a moment of silence, Gilbert clasped Matthew's feminine hands in his own, looking him in the eye. He took a deep breath, but before he could say anything Matthew typed frantically, 'You're not proposing, are you?'

"What? No, Mattie, I just want to do something with you. Well, um, if you'd let me. You see, coz it's Christmas and all, I kinda wondered if, maybe, you'd..."

'Have sex?' wrote Matthew, blushing furiously. _Phase three: ask. Well, that was a fail. _Gilbert nodded, holding his breath as Matthew struggled to answer.

Matthew knew Gilbert would never hurt him, ever. He also knew it would definately feel good, nothing like what Ivan had done to him. No screaming- in fact, no noises from him at all. He just wished he were still a virgin, Gilbert could have made it so he no longer feared sex.

They had always come SO CLOSE, and were actually going to do it after that lunch date THAT DAY.

Matthew looked up and saw Gilbert looking rather ill, and typed three letters deliberately and slowly onto his iPad.

'YES.'

(a/n: the rest of this chapter is pure lovemaking, though there is some Katyusha minor cockblocking.)

That was all the motivation Gilbert needed before pulling Matthew into a open-mouthed kiss before pulling back."Do you want to- to top?" he panted, half-hard already.

Matthew shook his head vigorously. Even if he had wanted too, he wouldn't know what to do.

"Okay, baby. I'll make you feel really good, you won't regret this." promised Gilbert huskily into the Canadian's ear, making him shiver slightly.

Gilbert slowly pressed Matthew down into his bed, straddling his waist, before pulling his shirt up and peppering sweet kisses across his collarbone.

"Gott, Mattie, you're so beautiful." murmured Gilbert, before latching onto a taut pink nipple, relishing the surprised and pleasured gasp it earned. He made slow work of it, ravishing every inch, before doing exactly the same to the other.

His mouth trailed downwards, licking his navel, stopping just at the tip of his jeans.

Suddenly the door burst open. "Excuse me, but have you seen Matthew- OH!" squeaked a surprised voice.

They both looked up to see a large-breasted, short-haired woman holding the doorframe in a death grip, with a face cherry-red and a trickle of blood running out of her nose, which she covered.

"Oh- I'm so sorry, I should have knocked- um, bye!" shrieked the woman, hastily shutting the door and running away; they heard the sounds- SOUNDS? WERE THOSE HER BOOBS?

Gilbert quickly locked the door before turning around to take care of his birdie, who looked absolutely beautiful like this, all hot and panting and red, with a huge tent in his pants.

He swiftly leaned down and pressed a firm kiss on Matthew's crotch; they were both unfazed by the appearance of the woman, to whom niether could place, but seemed oddly familiar.

He continued his previous trail, softly dragging his lips back to Matthew's waistband and pressing gently on his lover's swollen, clothed cock. The Canadian hissed and really, _really_wished he could talk again.

"Okay, love, want me to take care of that for you?" asked Gilbert softly, teasingly pressing harder. Matthew nodded quickly, making Gilbert chuckle.

He slowly, but not too slowly, pulled down Matthew's jeans and boxers, exposing his fully erect penis, standing proudly in the cool air. Matthew sighed in relief of having escaped the clothed prison confining it. Gilbert whistled appreciatively. "Wow, my five meters doesn't have much on you, birdie." he said, making Matthew redden.

He gasped loudly when his member was suddenly sheathed in warmth, Gilbert's experienced tongue swirling at the tip, fingers slowly massaging his balls.

The Prussian bobbed his head, running his mouth up along the shaft, pleased at Matthew's little gasps and mewls, pleased that he hadn't forgotten how to do this right. When Matthew tried to buck his hips into his boyfriend's mouth,Gilbert held his hips down, humming. The vibrations sent pools of heat settling directly in Matthew's core, which was growing bigger and bigger.

After a few minutes, Matthew tugged Gilbert's hair in warning. He definately didn't want to come yet, they had barely even started!

Gilbert understood and, with a last lick, pulled his mouth off of the rock-hard cock.

Somehow in the midst of that Gilbert had become unclothed, Matthew finally able to see his boyfriend in all his beautiful glory.

Gilbert fished a bottle of lube out of his pocket and slathered it onto his fingers. "This is gonna feel wierd at first, and then it might hurt a bit, but I promise it will feel better when I find it." Gilbert promised. Matthew nodded.

Gilbert slid a finger in, wiggling it around a bit. It really did feel wierd, and he gasped a little bit when Gilbert added another finger, scissoring carefully.

When Gilbert deemed Mattie prepared enough (from the pushing down on the fingers, anxious for more) he lined uphis cock with his entrance.

"Ready?" he whispered into Matthew's neck. The Canadian nodded ferverently. He couldn't have stopped this even if he wanted too. He most definately did NOT want to stop. Gilbert kissed Matthew's neck as he pushed in, moaning at the tight heat around him.

Every time Matthew gasped or hissed, he would stop, wait for the go on sign, and push farther in. Finally he was completely sheathed inside that tight, hot hole.

"Oh Gott, Mattie, that feels so good." he murmured, waiting for Matthew to adjust.

Mattie nodded his head shakily when the room stopped spinning. Gilbert slowly pulled out, and pushed right back in. When Matthew began squirming impatiently he began to thrust faster and harder, trying to find that one spot that would make Mattie-

The Canadian made a choking noise, before panting frantically, writhing in pleasure.

Found it.

He aimed for that spot, hitting it head-on every time, all the while whispering sweet words in his birdie's ear. With a sudden shuddering gasp Matthew came over the sheets and Gilbert's hand, which had found it's way to his neglected cock.

The tight clenching and sqeezing of the walls around him made Gilbert groan. Biting down on Matthew's neck, he came hard, spilling deep inside his lover.

They both rode out their orgasmic highs before collapsing onto the soiled bedsheets, ignoring the stickiness between them.

"I loveyou, Mattie." Gilbert whispered into his birdie's soft golden hair.

Matthew turned around to face Gilbert, kissing him lovingly. The kiss spoke louder than anything Matthew could have ever said.

'I love you too, Gilbert.'

**Please don't hate my first posted smut.**


	11. Natalya

Matthew awoke the next morning very warm, and very comfortable. He knew nothing, other than the fact he was in Gilbert's arms, safe, and they were spooning.

The thought was definately his greatest wish come true. He snuggled deeper into Gilbert's chest, listening to the steady thudding of his heart.

"Guten morgen, Birdie. Sleep well?" murmured Gilbert from above him. Matthew nodded. They lay like that for a while, content until Gilbert's stomach growled. He groaned. "Dumbass stomach." he muttered, pressing Matthew closer to him briefly before releasing him and stretching, ignoring the crust under him.

Matthew grabbed his iPad on the nightstand and huffed when he saw the battery was dead; he had left it on all night. He searched for a notebook in the drawer and also found a pen. 'Last night was amazing. Thank you, Gil.'

"Anytime, Mattie. Anytime." Gil winked, making the Canadian blush.

They got dressed and went downstairs. Francis raised an eyebrow at them, picking up some empty cups from the party.

"You consented, right Mathieu?" he asked. Matthew blushed agan and nodded, not meeting his papa's knowing eyes.

Francis looked relieved. "Oh, good. I did not want to castrate him."

Matthew snickered silently when Gilbert's face went a little green. "I would never do that kind of thing to Mattie!" he said.

"You better hope younever." muttered Arthur, staggering into the kitchen with bloodshot eyes. Francis dropped the cups into the garbage bag and hurried over to Arthur, helping him stand up straight.

"Mon cher, you should not be out of bed! You have a massive hangover!" he protested, gently pulling the post-drunken man in the direction of the couch.

Arthur struggled weakly against Francis, his headache all-consuming. "Lemme go, frog. Jus gemme a bit of aspirin an' some water." he slurred, plopping down on the couch in a most un-Arthur like way.

* * *

Alfred learned of Matthew and Gilbert's new progression the hard way, but at least he hadn't walked in on them.

Matthew still only allowed Gilbert to touch him; 'if someone reaches out, they might hurt you the same way Ivan did.' his mind warned him, and he couldn't help but flinch from physical contact.

Cruz moved away a week later, but before he did he apologized to Matthew through a note, which only proved he was a coward. After coming back to school a while after the incident, Cruz hadn't once looked in Matthew's direction. He said in the note he did it because his family had shunned HIM for being gay, and he was jealous of the fact Matthew seemed to get no beration for it at all.

So he berated Matthew himself.

Matthew hadn't cut since before the incident, a fact that Gil and him had celebrated on their one-year anniversary.

Gilbert still couldn't get used to his birdie not talking, and was going to become an elective mute, but Mattie had stopped him, pointing out that no one could speak for him anymore.

He did gag himself whilethey had sex, because he felt it was only fair to Mattie, and partly because of complaints from Alfred and the nieghbours.

'Well, you are pretty loud, Gil.' wrote Matthew.

Yes, things were definately going to get better. Maybe slowly, but they would eventually.

* * *

Katyusha clung onto her sister's arm fearfully. "Syestra, we cannot go get Ivan out of jail! Think of what he did to Matvey, he deserves to be in there!"she whispered urgently.

Natalia had no problem with what Ivan did. She decided that she could let her brother stay in jail for a bit longer; she needed to get him to love her for it. And if he didn't, surely he would for completing his revenge upon the small Canadian?

"Okay, Katyusha. We will not bust big brother out." Yet. she added silently.

She continued planning in her mind as Katyusha smiled in relief, releasing her to go make dinner.

_Matvey is the key to everything._


	12. Liz has a gaydar?

**A/N: I decided that I should merge the sequel and this story, because it just... wasn't working out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.**

**'words'=Matthew's sign language "words"=regular talking**

Matthew finished folding his last outfit for Camp Hetalia and sighed happily. He was going to have the best summer ever, all of his friends were going to be there, but best of all, so was his boyfriend.

"Yo Mattie, whatchya doing?" Alfred asked cheerfully, plopping himself down next to the Canadian's opened suitcase and messing up the carefully folded garment. Matthew huffed in irritation.

'Al, go away.' he signed. Al pretended to look hurt. "Whyyyyy?" he whined, pulling out the puppy dog eyes Matthew wasn't (yeat) immune to. He rolled his eyes anyway.

'I'm busy with this.' he gestured to his stuff. Al pouted, ruining his puppy face (Matthew was certain his brother practiced that in the mirror) and lay down, stretching.

"No, I'm good." he said stubbornly. Matthew, knowing he couldn't get his colossal bro out of there without a bulldozer or something similar, just sighed in resignment.

'Gil's coming over later.' he absently told the American, who shrugged. "As long as Liz isn't there the same time." he murmured. Then he shivered, probably thinking about her frying pan that always seemed to make an appearance whenever Gilbert was nearby.

"Alfred, what happened to your room? It looks as if you set off a bomb in here!" cried Arthur from somewhere to their left. Alfred cursed and left Matthew's bed, muttering obsceneties under his breath.

Matthew figured he was going to try and push Arthur out of there before the Brit could find his "stash," if you know what he meant.

* * *

_ding!_

"Alfred, can you get it? I'm cleaning the tub!" hollered Arthur from the bathroom.

"I can't, I'm playing video games!"

"Put them down, and get the door!"

"But I'm about to kill it!"

"I don't care."

"You suck!"

"Do not talk to your father like that, _mon fils."_

"Then you go get it, Pops!"

"I cannot; I'm making dinner!"

Matthew rolled his eyes and tapped his papa on the shoulder, indicating he was going to answer the door.

"Never mind, both of you. Mathieu is going to get it." called the Frenchman, stirring whatever was in the pot he was holding.

The Canadian opened the door and was not surprised to see an irritated Gilbert standing on the porch. 'Hi Gil! Come on in!' he signed happily, stepping back for his boyfriend to come in.

The self-proclaimed most awesome person on earth grinned that shit-eating grin of his and did so, Matthew shutting the door behind him. He immediately scooped Matthew up (who made a squeaky noise in response) and planted a kiss on his mouth. They had a nice make-out session for a minute or two before Alfred, lured by the scent of food, came in and wrinkled his nose.

"Get a room." he muttered, migrating to the kitchen. Matthew blushed and hugged Gilbert, who wrapped his arms securely around the Canadian.

"Gladly," he murmured, making Matthew blush harder. He pulled away from those strong arms (oh yes, he certainly knew how strong those arms were) and smacked Gilbert lightly on the bottom. 'Later.' he promise, making Gilbert grin wider.

As they entered the kitchen they heard Arthur say, "Is Elizaveta coming over? We have plenty of food for her if Alfred doesn't eat it all first."

"Yeah, she'll be here soon and- hey! I don't eat everything! All the time..." mumbled Alfred, pondering it for a second before shrugging and turning to Gilbert. "I don't check and see if she brings a frying pan with her (I've hidden the ones here) so you should probably try not to piss her off."

Gilbert shivered as the doorbell rang again. Alfred grinned and went to go answer it. "Hi Liz." was heard cheerfully, then a slight 'oof,' and Elizaveta barging into the kitchen, a familiar hungry look in her eyes. She narrowed them onto Matthew and Gil, who were holding hands.

"Dang it, I missed it!" she whined. Mattie looked to his boyfriend, who seemed equally confused. "Missed what? Dinner's almost finished cooking." he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Not dinner, you moron. I missed the hot lemony goodness that is yaoi!" she complained, pouting. Matthew was certain Alfred was now giving her lessons. Gilbert, however, just looked more confused.

"Yaoi? You mean... oh. But, how the he.. heck," he censored himself, "did you know me and Birdie were kissing?"

Liz's big green eyes flashed in amusement and mischief. "My gaydar sensed it."

"Gaydar- wait, what are you-"

"Dinner is served!" came from the dining room and Alfred, who had been watching this whole scene trying not to laugh, shot away from them and was in the dining room faster than you could say "hamburgers."

"Food!" he said happily, pulling out a chair for Liz (always the gentleman, thought Arthur proudly) and then sitting in his own seat.

"So Liz," said Gilbert semi-cautiously, "how was your last week of school?"

She fixed him with a look. "You were there, weren't you?" He turned slightly pink. "Well, yeah, but... I'm sure you know... I was mostly just uh, paying attention to-"

"Yourself?"

He glared at her. "No, I was going to say Mattie."

After a delicious meal cooked by Francis, Alfred and Elizaveta left to go see a movie. Arthur turned to Gilbert and Matthew with 'the Look.'

"Francis and I have to go stay at a hotel downtown for work purposes." he said. "I want you two to stay downstairs. Gilbert, you can stay overnight if you want, but do not defile my Matthew, or I'll have to resort to black magic."

Gilbert was slightly impressed Arthur managed to keep a straight face after saying that. Just then Francis's cell phone rang and he checked the caller ID, rolling his eyes and answering. "_Salut_, Alfred. What is it? ... Yes, that's fine... you better not try any funny business... If you say so. _Bonne nuit_."

He snapped his phone shut and turned to Arthur. "He will be sleeping over Elizaveta's house. I hope she has a frying pan available in case he tries anything."

Matthew shook his head. 'Alfred's a gentleman inside, he would not do anything unless she started it.' Arthur nodded in agreement.

"Well, we'll be off now... Good night, you two." he said, picking up thee previously unnoticed suitcases and leaving, Francis grabbing the car keys. He paused for a second and turned to them, "I have necessities for you two in the knife drawer."

With a wink, he shut the door behind him.

Matthew's face resembled a tomato. Gilbert just chuckled. He leaned down low into Matthew's ear. "What do you say, Birdie? Want to give the knife drawer a visit?"

Matthew shivered at the seductive tone in his boyfriend's voice and nodded. Oh, yes, he was definitely in the mood for this.

* * *

At a nearby movie theater, Elizaveta gasped and clutched Alfred's arm. "We have to go back now, my gaydar is going off like mad!"

**A/N: Don't worry, I'll put the smut scene in next chapter. :p**


	13. Broken

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.**

**Warning: Almost-smut but not quite and a freak-out. Sorry it is short.**

Gilbert led Matthew to the kitchen. 'Wait, Gil, don't you want to watch a movie first?' he asked, sorta hoping the answer was no.

Mr. Awesome pretended to think for a moment before turning back to the drawer, pulling out some lube and... handcuffs and a blindfold. "Nope."

Matthew blushed profusely as Gilbert pulled him up the stairs. He shut the door behind his Canadian- oh yeah, _his_ Canadian.

"So, Birdie," he purred, taking a step towards Mattie on the bed. Said blond gulped. "are you ready?" he said, taking another step forward.

Matthew smirked and beckoned his boyfriend closer. When Gil was within kissing distance he pulled him in for a slow, steamy kiss. A second later, Gil was straddling Mattie on the bed.

"Mmmm," murmured Gilbert against Matthew's neck. "I'll take that as a 'yes,'" he bit down harshly on Mattie's ear and then kissed it. A silent whimper escaped the Canadian's mouth.

"Arms up," declared the self-proclaimed Prussian. Matthew obeyed, but he felt a sudden pressure in his head. He repressed it, there were more ah, _important_ needs to attend to. Gilbert pulled Matthew's shirt up and handcuffed him to the bedposts. He trailed a calloused finger down the squirming Canadian's chest. He gently fastened the blindfold around his mouth.

He whispered into Mattie's ear, "Is it okay if I don't gag myself?"

Matthew, just desperate for some friction right then, nodded frantically. "Danke," Gil murmured, peppering open-mouthed kisses all over his boyfriend's torso.

The building pressure in Matthew's head that he had been trying to repress for the last few minutes burst and as his pants were slowly pulled down, Gilbert still breathing on his chest, memories of _that night _entered his mind.

_"Mmm, Matvey, you taste very nice."_

"Gott, Birdie..." muttered Gilbert, palming Matthew through the thin fabric of his boxers. When had his jeans come off?

_The Russian man merely pulled down his pants, ignoring Matthew's sobbing pleas to stop. He frowned at the sight of the Canadian's flaccid dick. "Tsk tsk, Matvey."_

_"P-please... non... leave me alone!" cried Matthew._

"Eager tonight Birdie, are we? You're practically shivering in anticipation." said Gilbert, now at the hem of his boxers and tugging teasingly. Matthew couldn't see anything, he couldn't tell Gil to stop, not even with his sign language because of the handcuffs.

Tears were streaming down his face as he squirmed to get away from 'Ivan's' grip, but Gilbert didn't notice.

_"A-ah! I see you are a virgin, Matvey? V-very nice." panted Ivan as he entered the screaming Canadian._

"Mattie? Hey, are you okay?"

Which was real- who cared, he had to get away from Ivan- no, this was Gilbert, he wasn't going to hurt him- make it stop stop please no no-

He was crying in earnest now, curling in on himself when Gilbert finally had the sense to de-handcuff and unblind him. The Prussian hesitantly reached out to touch Matthew.

"Birdie? Are you okay?"

Matthew flinched away from the touch and held himself into a tighter ball. No one but him and Ivan had truly known what went on in the two hours he was tortured. And something had triggered it when he was just with Gilbert.

_Pain._

_Burned._

_Panting. "P-please, non... please stop..."_

_"Why should I do that? This is fun, da?"_

_"Y-you are sick."_

_"Maybe I like it like that." THUD. A scream. "Huh. It didn't break."_

_"W-why are you doing this?"_

_"You need to die. And since he burned to death, you should feel even worse pain. It was your fault after all."_

_"No! You're lying, he was d-drunk."_

_A creepy laugh. "Kolkolkol. Nyet. Merely intoxicated. Because of you. I had a fabulous system going on with him, and then he used you as a toy. Toys should not be allowed to break their masters. It should be the other way around, da?"_

_'I won't let him break me.'_

_THWACK. A cry._

_'H-he can't!'_

_The sickening sound of cutting flesh, all too familiar._

_'Make it stop please please no more'_

_Crushing agony._

_"Oh, what is this? Self-inflicted cuts? Well, maybe it is good thing I am putting you out of your misery."_

_'Make it happen soon'_

_"M-maybe it is a good thing I won't let you."_

_"Kolkolkol. What are you going to do about it, Matvey?"_

"He was right. I am broken...Je suis cassé."


	14. Gilbert's thoughts

**A/N:" I AM SOOO SO SORRY THAT I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG~! Here's the newest chapter. I'll try and write at least six chapters by the end of the month and then I won't be online for November because of NaNoWriMo- 50,000 word novel in one month. My pen name on there is F. I. Ainsley.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. By the way, I saw Hetalia cosplayers in public the other day~**

Gilbert now knew what a hangover felt like. Or at least, a full-blown, kill-your-brain, eye-pounding headache of a hangover. Matthew had fallen into a fitful sleep at around 2 am and he hadn't until about an hour ago. He dreamed that he was clutching Matthew protectively while a figure in black tried to pry the little Canadian from his grasp. Gilbert was afraid to admit this might be his current greatest fear.

He decided to stay and hold Matthew until he woke up- he might panic if he was left alone too long, and that would reeeaaallly suck ass more than anything.

Matthew yawned, snuggling up closer to Gilbert, who held him tighter, stroking his golden locks lightly. "Gilbert..." he mouthed in his sleep.

Again, not that he would ever admit it, but Gilbert got a warm feeling in his chest every time Matthew 'said' something about him. He missed his voice more than Matthew himself probably did, he missed being told he was loved, he missed hearing that cute little laugh- he missed most of all causing that laugh. He wished everything could go back to the way it was before Ivan ever came into their lives.

Last night had been a disaster- he should have remembered, he should have realized Matthew wouldn't have recovered enough for a little BDSM so soon. He couldn't blame him.

As much as he enjoyed being the light in Matthew's life, he didn't know if he could handle it- and he was awesome, he could handle anything life threw at him. The constant need Matthew had for him was, admittedly, absolutely amazing, but it did get inopportune in the moments where he couldn't always be there. And he had to deal with everything Matthew- but did he want to? He loved the blond more fiercely than he had ever loved anything in his entire life, Matthew was his everything- so why was he even thinking this? Was he over-thinking it?

The small man in Gilbert's arms moved again and the albino was jerked from his thoughts. He stared at that little curl. Why was he thinking this? Matthew gave as much as he took- he probably gave even more! He was sweet, he gave Gilbert a place to stay when his brother kicked him out, he was a great drinking buddy, lover, tutor, best friend- he had seen Gilbert at some of his lowest points and held him through it, the same as Gilbert had been doing for over a year now.

Matthew blinked and looked up at Gilbert. His pretty purple eyes were clouded with sleep and he smiled dozily. He pulled his arms out and signed, 'Good morning, Gilbert.'

"Ja, gut morgen, Mattie." he murmured back. He buried his face in Matthew's sweet-smelling hair and reminded himself he could do this, he could handle Matthew, if only to be able to do this- wake up every morning next to him, say 'good morning,' eat breakfast, just be there- it would be all worth it.

But, didn't other happy couples do all that without having to go through what he and Mattie did? The worst thing was- he would never forget those images, forever branded into his skull- he had nightmares for weeks, right next to Matthew, though the Canadian had no idea. The sight of his battered bruised body, the silent scream on his face as Ivan repeatedly penetrated him, Yao's sickened look- he could never, ever forget that. No amount of jail time for Ivan could repay for what he did.

Matthew's nightmares were just as bad, if not worse- was it worse to be the victim or the bystander? Gilbert couldn't know, for he had not been both, but one was enough. He woke up, the same silent scream visible, and it shattered Gilbert every time he saw it, it made him burn with a plethora of emotion- sadness, pain, despair- but mostly anger. Anger at himself for not saving him, anger at everyone else for not noticing, anger at Ivan, Jr., for letting it happen- it was red-hot.

But most of all, he was angry at Ivan for doing it.

'Hey, you there?' smiled Matthew,waving his hands in front of Gilbert's face. The albino blinked and captured those hands, pressing them against his face. He would never let anything happen to Matthew again.

Said blond frowned slightly, not even flinching at the touch- a fact for which Gilbert was grateful of. Unable to sign his question, he looked at his boyfriend with curious eyes.

Gilbert smiled, not his usual shit-eating grin either- a sad, loving smile that rattled Matthew to his very core. "I will never lose you." he murmured. Though Matthew was still confused, he nodded and kissed Gilbert shyly, long and slow and deep and passionate, not heated or lust-filled.

"You okay?" asked Gilbert when they pulled apart. Matthew smiled half-heartedly and signed, 'No, but with you I will be.'

Gilbert still wasn't sure if he could do this alone, but he'd be damned to the pits of Hell if he didn't try his hardest. He carried Matthew downstairs, bridal-style, so pancakes could be made.

**A/N: So a look into Gilbert's psych, we haven't really seen his POV much. But really, consider what he said- can one high school albino fix a severely broken Matthew? Await the next chapter~**


End file.
